By Bella Bowers, APC, NCC
If you’re going through a breakup, you probably don’t need me to tell you how confusing,
difficult, and painful it can be. Breakups can feel devastating because they impact the trajectory of our lives. It’s common to feel sad, anxious, and even angry. If you’re struggling through a breakup, here are three mental health tips that may be helpful.
Give Yourself Space Without Judgment
When we go through a breakup, we are experiencing the loss of a relationship. If you initiated the breakup, it may be difficult to accept that you stepped away from what you once wanted (and maybe still do). If you were broken up with, it might feel as if your future was taken away from you. It’s important to allow yourself time to grieve what you hoped would happen. Part of grieving is acknowledging what we hoped would happen and how the future will ultimately look different. When we take the time to identify and process our thoughts and feelings, we signal to ourselves that what we’re going through is important and that we matter.
Practice Self-Compassion
If a friend experiences a breakup, we tend to express empathy, patience, and love. Unfortunately, many people find it difficult to show the same care to themselves. We often have expectations for how we should feel, think, or behave. If we fall short of these expectations, we tend to experience guilt and shame. Self-compassion involves meeting yourself where you are, not where you think you “should” be. One of the easiest ways to develop compassionate self-talk is to imagine what you would say to a friend in your situation. If you can, practice talking to yourself in that same compassionate way.
Spend Time with Others
When we’re grieving, it can be tempting to pull away from others and spend time alone. It’s important to recognize when we need to be alone. At the same time, we may forget to allow others to be there for us along the way. Being around others lets us benefit from their perspective and support and it reminds us of our strengths when we need it most. By allowing others to support us, we invite positivity and hope.
If you’re not sure where to start, therapy can be a supportive option for you. A therapist can give you the space to process what you’re going through without judgment. A therapist can also offer perspectives that can help you view what happened differently. Additionally, therapy can help you learn and practice (or simply remember to use) healthy coping skills. You are not alone, and that support is always there if you need it.
About The Author: Bella Bowers, APC, NCC is a therapist in Marietta, Georgia. She sees clients in person and virtually. She specializes in working with adults who are considering, going through, or recently experienced a breakup or divorce. She is currently running a virtual therapy group, Breaking Through the Trauma of Your Breakup. Bella is a compassionate and supportive therapist. She helps her clients grieve, learn more about their relationship patterns and styles, and cultivate a renewed sense of hope about what their relationships might look like moving forward.
